In todays’ Barbadian and Caribbean society, we have all adopted an orthodox type of sex life whether it is a serious monogamous relationship, marriage, or just 2 persons enjoying the company of each other. In my experience, spicing up your sex life and exploring secret fantasies has become such a ‘hush hush’ topic, that usually to experience those deep unconstitutional desires usually occurs only when you go outside the relationship, marriage or arrangement because we as human beings are generally easily ashamed or too proud to confide in your significant other. This is only one of MANY reasons cheating occurs. Couples, marriages, arrangements, friends with benefits, e.t.c can be much stronger if they are open and completely brutally HONEST with each other about everything, including your sex life and your sexual desires. It is a known fact, that over 50% of women lie about having orgasms or enjoying many parts of their sexual encounters with their significant other just to have the act over with as soon as possible. Some of these persons then turn to friends and acquaintances outside of the relationship to get that void filled.
If you fall into that category of persons who are sexually adventurous, open minded, unsatisfied with the regular day to day encounters, or you are just plain old kinky, then it is possible that Lifestylers Club maybe for you. Many people come to the club who thought that their desires in BDSM, being an Exhibitionist, Voyeur, Swinging, Polyamory etc are eerie and uncommon soon learn that they are a whole new world of persons who share their similar fetishes and desires within the exclusive membership of the Lifestylers Club.
IS THE LIFESTYLERS RIGHT FOR ME?
Many may ask, is this type of lifestyle healthy or right of me? Getting involved in the lifestyle is not for everyone. You must first discuss it with your partner openly, honestly and thoroughly. Many persons are forced into threesomes and even certain sexual acts under duress or threats of “if you won’t do it I will find someone else who will”. This is a very WRONG reason to get involved. If both partners are not about exploration its possibilities, then it is not for you. Some men are even highly offended when their significant other brings who a vibrator and wants to enhance their intimate lives with it as he may start to feel like less of a man. In some cases, the woman feels uncomfortable and then either has to hide and use her toy or use it when he is not around. Soon enough, a more open minded guy will ease into her lives that may find it to be a turn on to watch her have fun while he assists her. The pattern is so familiar. Once you have a strong relationship / understanding with trust, boundaries can be set and the exploration or exciting lifestyles can begin. Many couples benefit greatly from it as it opens the line of healthy sexual communication, brings excitement and variety to your sex life, allows your partner to live out their sexual fantasy with you and it prolongs relationships as new bonds are found. If you fall into that category of persons who crave that extra kink in their lifestyle, join us now and reap the benefits only a priviledged few can dream of.
One of the most common fantasies of men is the introduction of another female in the bed and one of the most common fantasies of women, although rarely discussed, is to have another man in the bed as well. Some men who are bold enough to even mention it usually bring the wrong person in the bedroom which causes relationship problems. Bringing a girl that you were fucking on the side is not a good idea. Bringing the girl that you had a crush on and have been flirting with is not a good idea. You should find someone who you know would be mutually comfortable for both you and your spouse without the complications. She or he should not be a new entity in the relationship, but merely an “alive” sex toy only there for pleasure and to facilitate the act of fantasy. A Threesome is really a different version of normal sex. It is important for you to be sure that you are ready for it before you think about it. It can be a good choice for couples but they
should be choosing the right person for the same. If you are really comfortable watching another person touching your partner and being intimate, you should decide to have this mind blowing sexual experience. If you feel that you may have the issues of anger, sadness or jealously then better to stay away from threesome. Your relationship needs to be stable before you decide on a threesome.
MFM (Male-Female-Male) THREESOMES
It’s no secret that women prefer two men in a threesome with an alpha male. A threesome is nothing but having sexual pleasure and fun with two people. You can have a threesome with two men or two women but generally women prefer two men in threesome with an alpha male. But are you wondering why ? It is because women love the company of men more than a woman and they can get more sexual pleasure from two men compared to a woman. However, the case can be different if the woman is bi-sexual, bi-curious or lesbian.
Different women can have different reasons behind choosing two men with an alpha male while having a threesome. The same way some men love the idea of two vaginas to pleasure at the same time, some women are turned on by the idea of two men all over her at the same time. Double the tease, double the pleasure! When there are two men the amount of pleasure the girl will be getting is much higher compared to when there are two women. In a MFM (Male-Female-Male) the female character also gets a chance to pleasure two guys that many women love to do. On the other hand, when there is two males the woman gets more orgasms as the two men will be there to please her in all the ways possible. When two men are pleasing the woman, generally the two will try and out-perform the other resulting in more orgasms for the woman.
However, the woman also has a great part in the threesome. You must be able to pleasure both the men equally. Give sexual pleasure to both the men and arouse them to give you the ultimate sex pleasure that you are looking for. A threesome can be of different types such as it can be bidirectional and multidirectional. In bidirectional approach two out of three people pleasure themselves and the third watches them having sexual pleasure and when one needs a break the other person enters to pleasure the woman more.
In Multidirectional threesome, all the parties go together pleasuring each other every way possible. It is a very pleasurable moment for a woman when two men are trying to pleasure her from top to bottom and she the same way is trying to pleasure both the men using her hands, mouth and vagina, and even if super daring her anus.
FFM (Female-Female-Male) Threesomes
This is the more commonly seen threesomes, not only because men prefer it, but the average woman just wants to please her man or doesn’t want to hurt his ego with the introduction of another man in the bed. Additionally, women brush off the concept of another woman around them as just harmless fun as society allows them to hug, give small kisses and be openly affectionate without raising an eyebrow.
Foursomes and Swinging
Human beings are naturally curious. Some are more sexually curious than others. While some people are perfectly fine with a single sexual partner, some other people feel restricted. This feeling of being restriction can then bleed to other areas of the relationship. If you and your partner feel the same about this, then the swinging maybe a good experience for the both of you.
Engaging in a sexual experience does not mean that you will be running away with someone else. Love and sex are not exactly the same. You can have sex with someone else, and still be deeply in love with your partner. The swinging lifestyle can benefit you and your partner’s need to satisfy that curiosity and still feel secure in a relationship.
Being in a relationship can be comforting as it brings a sense of security and comfort. On the downside, there is a tendency for things to get boring. Of course, some couple loves this “familiarity” and there is nothing wrong with that. However, for some couples, this “boringness” may be too much to bear. The swinger lifestyle can be a big help.
It has been researched and found out that sexual boredom is one of the main reasons for failed marriages. Hence over a period of time it is quite possible that both the partners could be looking at happiness outside the marriage. Instead of allowing this to happen, a better option would be to be transparent about it and choose another willing group of partners (man and woman) and get into a foursome act which could help a lot in making the entire relationship reach a new and improved level of satisfaction.
As a man or woman, you might be inhibited as far as some sexual practices and methods are concerned. However, on the other side of the spectrum, your partner might be willing to explore beyond the conventional act of copulation and intercourse. In such situations opting for a foursome approach could perhaps help solve the problem. This could help eliminate and prevent sexual frustration from building up between the married couples. This has been tried out and found to be effective in many situations.
One of the biggest problem with sex life between couples is that over a period of time it becomes boring, monotonous and highly predictable. Both the partners know what is coming next and therefore variety becomes a rare commodity. Under such situations, it would not be a bad idea to go in for something different and choosing a couple to take part in sexual activities could be a suitable solution. It certainly could help bringing in variety which is often found lacking in sexual relationships.
Monogamous couples repeatedly say swinging is bad. Here are 3 reasons swinging is not taboo. The swinger lifestyle isn’t exactly the “in” thing to do. In fact, in most social circles, it’s taboo.
However, most of your our opinions about swingers come from other people. They tell us what we should believe, which is often negative. And yet, most of these people who are telling you about swingers haven’t exactly tried the lifestyle. The swinging lifestyle does offer plenty of benefits to a couple. Curious? Contact Us for more details to find out if Lifestylers is right for you.
Upon plain definition, the abbreviation expands to Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism - terms of erotic significance. BDSM essentially refers to the erotic pleasures of degrading role play, sadistic disciplining and masochistic submission. The idea is to explore the kinky pleasure behind the pain of flesh or moral degradation. BDSM is essentially an erotic tactic mostly used in sex as a part of foreplay. The concept of BDSM is far beyond the simple terminology discussed above. The idea of dominance and submission, sadism and masochism are not just sexual ideas, but an ardent lifestyle choice for some. To be able to understand the practice completely, one must decode what each component means as an erotic practice. . BDSM denotes a set of mental, physical and emotional possibilities that can, at times, seem as mysterious as a secret cult – but you might be surprised to find out that the chances are good that you’ve had some experience in the field, even if you didn’t know about it at the time.
Among the roles common in BDSM relationships or sessions, you might choose from top and bottom, dominant (dom or domme) and submissive, master or mistress and servant or slave, and many more. Even among those black-and-white-sounding names, though, you can find grey areas – switches are people who feel equally comfortable in more than one role, sometimes even in the same session. An important thing to understand when learning about these roles, though, is that in many if not most cases, the bottoms, submissives and slaves are just as likely to be dictating the terms of the session as their more powerful- sounding counterparts.
Bondage & Discipline
While keeping one bound and gagged for violent reasons has forever been abhorred by society, the situation behind closed doors is a completely different story. The given practice allows people to take on roles of the ‘Top’ (Dominator) and the ‘Bottom’ (Submissive). Bondage essentially involves physical restraining for erotic pleasure. While the novice can indulge in light bondage by using belts and handcuffs to tie the limbs for erotic stimulations, the hardcore practitioners use elaborate contraptions to bind genitalia and limbs for heightened pleasure. Processes like asphyxiation are also a part of the bondage. Bondage is all about having complete control over your partner. Some people have thoughts of being tied and bound to the bed and repeatedly pleased by their partner. That fantasy is the Bondage part of the Bdsm. Discipline on the other hand is a practice not so different from bondage. It essentially involves psychological restraining by corporal punishment rules for behaviour exerted beyond the acceptable range. The range of punishment can be physical, as in the case of spanking and flagellation, or psychological using degrading language. The concept of inflicting pain for pleasure makes the process extremely erotic for both parties involved. This is also another power play sexually. Among the roles common in BDSM relationships or sessions, you might choose from top and bottom, dominant (dom or domme) and submissive, master or mistress and servant or slave, and many more. Even among those black-and-white-sounding names, though, you can find grey areas – switches are people who feel equally comfortable in more than one role, sometimes even in the same session. An important thing to understand when learning about these roles, though, is that in many if not most cases, the bottoms, submissives and slaves are just as likely to be dictating the terms of the session as their more powerful- sounding counterparts.
If you’ve ever put a blindfold on a partner, tied his or her hands with scarves, or given a spanking to someone for being naughty, you’ve dabbled in B&D. Either can be as innocuous as mild foreplay, a prelude to less exotic sex, or it can be an activity in its own right – for many, B&D involves more than just physical sensation – it can be a gateway to deep emotional experiences or self- discovery. Bondage may take the form of token restraint, or it may involve a complex array of equipment designed for arcane purposes – arm-binders, spreader bars, cuffs, breath restrictors, elaborate rope arrangements and more. Discipline, too, can be a forum for the inventive gadget-enthusiast – many of the devices used for the punishment of a wayward partner rival bondage gear in their complexity and ingenuity, but it can also be as simple and unadorned as a list of rules for a partner’s conduct. Of course, a wily dominant may deliberately set rules that can’t be obeyed in order to make punishment inevitable, but it’s just as likely that a wily submissive might disobey the rules on purpose; rules, here more than anywhere else, are made to be broken.
Sadism & Masochism
Without doubt, these words define the core of BDSM. Sadism and masochism are inspired by pain – infliction and submission. Sadism is the dark impulse experienced by meting pain to the partner, which can be in form of language abuse, spanking or flagellation for the uninitiated and darker practices like asphyxiation, candle wax, electro-stimulation for the experienced. These concepts are intrinsically related to one’s relationship with pain and how much one is willing to push boundaries because of it. The sadistic partner is the one who inflicts the pain and the submissive partner gains erotic stimulations by enjoying every aspect of the pain experienced. . S&M is whips and chains, it’s spanking, and it’s bruises and welts. It takes its name from the names of two European perverts of yore – the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch; both men wrote extensively about the pleasure to be found in the giving and receiving of pain as part of sexual pleasure – sadism and masochism respectively. If you’ve ever enjoyed pulling someone’s hair, smacking someone’s ass during sex, or reveled in a sharp bite from a lover, you’ve taken at least a tentative first step into S&M. S&M may be part of roleplay, used as a part of either B&D or D/S relationships to further their emotional power, or it may just be something you do bcause you like a little pain or rough sex. In the context of the BDSM lifestyle, S&M is distinct from acts of sexual violence in that both parties, ideally, negotiate and agree to the degree of severity involved in the giving and receiving of pain. physical S&M can be as specific as nipple torture or cock and ball torture, or it can involve an entire range of activities from spanking, paddling, whipping, hot wax, and approximations of real forms of torture
BDSM, although appears to be surreally exciting, must only be exercised with your partner’s discretion. While light practicing is harmless, it is extremely easy to get lost in the power-play and actually end up harming your partner.
One thing that someone practising any form of BDSM should take into consideration is having a safe word so that the dominant person would know that their sub really wants them to stop. Sometimes the pain or fun becomes too painful or uncomfortable or degrading, and this is the time that the use of the pre-chosen safe word should be used as generally during BDSM, stop or no, are usually disregarded as helpless pleads to be ignored. Before any BDSM activity, discuss your limits and definitely agree to a safe word which alerts your partner to STOP IMMEDIATELY.
Some people just get turned on by being the star of the show. They deliberately do some act to attract attention sexually. Lots of people have practised exhibitionism without even thinking of it. Have you ever been in a situation and that female in the short skirt purposely sits provocatively or dances knowing that she would expose herself in a public place knowing that seeing her undergarments or lack thereof would grab attention? As simple as that may seem, that is an act of an Exhibitionist.
Although displaying your genitals in public is illegal in many parts of the world, a huge number of people have done it at one time or another. Countless men and women have flashed each other at Mardi Gras celebrations, and many a college fraternity and sorority have gone streaking across campus. So does this mean that the world is full of exhibitionists? Not exactly. Behaviors like this are usually fueled by alcohol and a temporary loosening of one’s inhibitions. The true exhibitionist (in the clinical sense) doesn’t require any “liquid courage” and doesn’t get naked as part of an organized social event or in a situation in which public nudity is accepted. Instead, psychologists reserve the term “exhibitionist” for persons who engage in socially inappropriate nudity for the sole purpose of sexual arousal. Such exposure usually occurs in public places where there is an easy escape route (e.g., parks and subways). The goal of this exposure is to evoke a shocked reaction from the other person, which is what the exhibitionist finds to be sexually arousing. In fact, exhibitionists usually fantasize about this shocked reaction afterward when sexually pleasuring themselves.
Some people just love to watch. Imagine, you are in a car parked out having the time of your life and during your ordeal you hear the scuffle of a peeping tom out through your window. That person is a voyeur.
Voyeurism is the act in which a person derives sexual pleasure and gratification from looking at the naked bodies and genital organs or observing the sexual acts of others. The voyeur is usually hidden from view of others. Voyeurism is a form of paraphilia.
A variant form of voyeurism involves listening to erotic conversations or sexual sounds coming from a room. Most forms of voyeurism primarily involves the act of watching or listening to unsuspecting persons during a sexual act.
The object of voyeurism is to observe unsuspecting individuals who are naked, in the process of undressing or engaging in sexual acts. The act of looking or peeping is undertaken for the purpose of achieving sexual excitement. The observer generally does not seek to have sexual contact or activity with the person being observed.
If orgasm is sought, it is usually achieved through masturbation. This may occur during the act of observation or later, relying on the memory of the act that was observed.
Frequently, a voyeur may have a fantasy of engaging in sexual activity with the person being observed. In reality, this fantasy is rarely consummated.
Many people practise polyamory in society but they had no idea of what it was called. Let’s say you know that the guy/girl you are sleeping with has a girlfriend/boyfriend and she/he also knows about you and everyone knows about each other and generally have given consent since it is not a problem for either of you…. Then you have been practising Polyamory. Many women are seeing a new guy but still openly sleeping with their “child’s father”… that is also Polyamory. Once it is put out there in the open that you are sleeping with more than one person and all parties involved knows about it and goes along with it, then that is Polyamory.
Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many, several", and Latin amor, "love") is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships involving more than two people, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.