Dear Dominus. For 9 years I have stayed behind closed doors and take it, even when I didn’t want to. I gave my life to him, more than 9 years but he was my everything. We started talking seriously since 2007 but it became official in 2008 when I got pregnant with our son. We moved in together and I made a conscious decision that he will be my world, putting his happiness over mine. I changed after **** was born and wasn’t into as much sex like before. He wanted to eat me every night, and wanted me to do the same in return when he was finished thinking I had come. He wanted me to return the favour and he used to hold me and spout in my mouth. I told him I didn’t like it, but he said that I had him for so much years I should get accustomed to his likes by now. I did that for him even though I hated it. I started to get up and spit it out and brush my teeth in the bathroom sink after he had released all, and he got upset saying that I am scorning him and made me lay down with it in my mouth and I would stay silent till he fell asleep, sometimes a whole hour because swallowing it made me want to vomit. I did that to please him, i pretend to love it to please him to make him think I had finally got accustomed to it in my mouth and that I was ok. In the bedroom, it was his way or no way. He was a good father, but after ***** had gone to sleep, he said he only wants me. He claims he never cheated on me and I think I believe that because he was always at home early and never carried any traits of a cheating man. The consequence of that was that I became his sex slave. He asked me if I want him to look for anyone else or do everything he wants to with me and I chose to do it to me. From there, he had anal sex with me whether my ass was sore or not. He spout in my mouth, made me suck his testicles, and even suck his big toe for sport. He was really rough in bed chocking, slapping, and all. I loved him more than I loved myself. He gave me whatever I wanted, but I hated to go inside the bedroom, I hated sex with him. I pretended to orgasm to get him off me, but it was sometimes a half hour sucking him before he was satisfied. I told him that I was not happy and he laughed. He said that he bought a car for me, which is true, he pays 80% of the mortgage because he works for more money than I do and I pay the balance. The house is in both of our names btw. I travel every year paid by him, and he takes me out. Apart from the bedroom, he is wonderful. I told him I wanted out because I don’t like sex anymore and he got so upset, he told me to leave the bedroom. Dominus I am thinking about leaving. I told him this too and he told me that I am ungrateful because I don’t want to please him being his woman. He gave me a break to make my choice and gave me a whole month to think while he slept in the chair. I was so happy sleeping alone without him pulling at me every night. 2 weeks after the month was up, he started to drink every night. I asked him why and he says he is not getting satisfied and asked what I expect him to do. I told him to jerk off. He looked at me so disgusted, and told me he was leaving, and that I have one more week to decide. If I don’t pull up my socks and accept that sex is part of this relationship, he is not going to cheat he is going to end it. Dominus I know sex is part of a serious relationship but I don’t like it anymore because of all the things he forced me to do. Its either his way or no way. He is aggressive in bed. Sometimes I wonder how a gentle man would feel like instead of this ruffian. I left and went by my mother and he told me to leave our son or he will do something to me. I miss being home now. I miss my son, and now I miss him, everything but the bedroom. He gave me a paper and say he is paying me back part of the money I paid to the mortgage and asked me to sign it taking my name off at the bank. He says if I am not with him, then I cant benefit from all the things he has done. Did I make the wrong decision, just because of sex?
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