Dear Dominus. There is this one fella that always humbugging me saying he would like to rock my world. Thing is, he and my man is friends and he would wait till me man aint looking to drop comments cause he afraid of my man.So there was a point when things was so brown with me, I had nothing for my son and I was only working 2 days a week and he see me telling me he would still like a chance and that ***** aint have to know. I tell he I cant study nothing so, I here thinking about food for my child. He pull out $100 and tell me he could help me out if I help he on the down low. I think about it but $100 cant make me a idiot I aint a slut and he tell me wait a minute and went to a ATM and put $300 more with it. I never say yes but he could see I was thinking about it and he tell me come and go in City C**** he park all the way at the top. I went and say he got one chance with me and he eat me long that wasn’t too badand then he tell me he want to feel how wet he make me. I ask if he have a condom and he say yes. Dominus when he pull out he penis it was so small I try not to laugh but I couldn’t help and he realise and tell me it aint the size it is how he work it. Dominus however he was trying to work it wasn’t working but I just close my eyes and try to enjoy it for whatever it was and try not to feel guilty about what I was doing. He finish up and get up from on top of me and I clean up myself and get out and went back through town and do what I had to do. My man call me and ask me where I was and I tell he and he say don’t move he coming town now and he would meet with me. He come town and do what he had to do and pick me up and carry me home by he and he don’t usually give me no big set of money just a little $50 here and there but this time he give me $300 and tell me he know things tight hold that. I did feel so bad water come to my eyes and I could not hold back tears and he tell me he feel bad he aint give me no money before but things was real tight but he going be a good man and he start kissing me up and I was so vunerable I never feel close to he so that he think about me and my situation and he do what he does usually do and he start to eat me and finger me how he does do and I was in my zone and hear he holla out and when I look down a condom on he finger and start cursing and cuffing me in my belly.I didn’t even know it was in there. That fella penis was probably so small that it come off and he is such a dog he aint tell me. Dominus I know I did wrong I aint even fight back I let he get out he anger on me he beat me soooooo frickin bad but I did deserve it and he tell me all kind of things ant then say he want back he money and went in my purse and see the other money I had leff back about $300 little bit and he tek all asking me where I get it from. From the way I cry he know a man give it to me and he say it tek and now he gone.I never do anything like this before and the one time I let my wants get the better of me my man done with me and curse me stink tell me he don’t even want to see my name on paper and to keep from round he before he have to fuck me up. I just feel so fuck up right now. I wish he would still be my man even if I have to take the licks I deserve for doing shite. I still love he Dom. I have 2 minds to tell my man exactly what happen and let he fuck he up. You think I should do that cause he aint talking to me until I can say who I cheat on he with and I know that will cause a real big fight, he don’t play.