Dear Dominus. Some people say that everything in life happens for a reason. I am still wondering what the reason for this is. Well everything was going so good. I was coping at work and not letting miserable people get on my nerves and I had recently got into a new relationship. For the majority of my 29 years on this earth I had up a wall of protection cause I have been hurt so many times before. Most men just want sex and I was not going to let that happen to me again. I’m so tired of men who just look at women for a sex machine it’s so sad. It took months before I allowed him to touch me. He was patient and gentle, and for the first time in years it felt real. Last year he surprised me for my birthday and got down on one knee and proposed. I let myself go completely and we had the most awesome sex on that staycation. I didn’t care, I love him so much. I started to breathe him and he breathed me. There was no him without me. We would go everywhere together. My life was finally complete. Sometime in October something strange happened. Sex with him was extremely painful. It was so painful it caused me to bleed. I didn’t understand. He usually has me so wet down there but I was dry. Even when I used saliva it just was itchy and it hurt. I had to beg him to stop. Well Dominus, as you know I don’t give head, (thats so nasty) so I finished him off with my hand. The next attempts at sex over the next few weeks was a complete fail, it couldnt even get in without me screaming in pain so I told I’m it was time to go to the doctor. Dominus even pushing the speculum, retractor or any of the other instruments inside me was painful. I cried so much. Dominus just one finger hurts and makes my cry out in pain. It was worse than when I was a virgin, I was so tight. I was given antibiotics for what was thought to be a yeast infection but it was not that. I went back the next month and this time I could not bear to be opened. She took some swab samples etc and sent it to the lab. A week later I was told that I have something called vaginismus. Dominus this thing is so uncomfortable I can’t have sex. I didn’t have sex since October 2018, and he to refuse my hand-jobs saying he was fine. He knows my condition so he doesnt ask me about sex but I can sense tension from him. I came out straight and asked him what about the wedding and he said he not sure to get better. Dominus can he only marry me if my vagina is operational and good? There are other things we can do, well I can jack him off when he needs relief but I thought he loved me unconditionally. I do not think I am being unreasonable to still expect the wedding plans to continue but he is being distant and he has put off the date basically to see if I get better because the doctors don’t know what caused it or what I need to do because I have tried everything and I just don’t have the desire to have sex and a little finger can hurt me so bad if inserted. I can’t even do a proper GYNO exam anymore. Is this all I am worth? I want to marry him but I don’t think it is right that he has our life on hold just because of my vaginal health. Am I not worth more than my vagina? Is this really what it all boils down to? Tell me what you think Dominus. Is he a prick? Isn’t this supposed to be for better or for worse?
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