Dear Dominus. Please I THINK I NEED HELP. Something seems to be wrong with me. I am 17 and pregnant for the first time and my boyfriend is 19 years old. I am 11 weeks now and I swear when I think about it by myself my boyfriend has done nothing, and every time I see him I keep snapping at him. When I find out I was breed I freak out but he cool me down and say he will be there don’t dig nothing and I feel better but now something just snap inside me and I treating he so fucking BAD I cry when I think about it. I literally hate his guts now and HATE for him to see me or touch me. At the same time Dominus I don’t want him to leave me but he says I am getting on foolish now. I throw cold water on him last night cause he fall sleep watching TV and just the sight of him urk my stomach and this is not me it seems like I can’t control myself and the things I do to him. He does try he best and bring anything I ask for even if he got to borrow the money to get it and I does take it and shut the door in his face. He does laugh and open it back but he stop laughing now and I just cut my eye and tell he go home he serve he purpose. I always call and say I am sorry when he is gone but if it were me I would tell me fuck off and I know if he says that he will mean it. I never wanted to raise a baby by myself but I believe I will run him. My neighbour who always throw talk at me he came over and I usually always diss him and put him in his place but I am entertaining him and I hate this man guts to the core. I don’t know what is wrong with me it seems like I am ruining my own life without even knowing it and it is out of my control I can’t control the nasty hateful things I say to my boyfriend and everyone else I am nice to and he sees it he hasn’t said anything but he is getting really withdrawn and he is not coming over as often. I want him to come over but when I see him I then want him to leave and go home. I know this sounds like rambling crazy shit I don’t understand myself but please tell me how I can keep my boyfriend and stop behaving so my mother and father raise me together and I want that for my baby but if it doesn’t happen it iis my fault. Dominus the worse part of it last night after I throw the water on him I tell him it ain’t he child he can’t breed with he small dicky self and he ask who it is then and I say next door and that not true I don’t even know why I say so for I like I foolish or going mad I just feel like I go crazy around he and when he close to me I hate he.
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