Dear Dominus. It took me 2 months to write this letter and I had to swallow my pride to say this. I am 5 months pregnant and my mind is going crazy. When I found out I was pregnant, I told my boyfriend and he was SOOOOOO happy. I mean he literally jumped for joy. He has been treating me like a rose in a glass jar and I already have everything but clothing because he asked not to reveal the sex of baby yet because he wants to do one of those reveal parties for us. The thing that has me going crazy in my head is that when the doctor told me exactly how far along I am, it traced back to a night I wasn’t with him. He doesn’t remember, but I know this for a fact that I didn’t see him since Wednesday through the next Wednesday, and we actually didn’t have sex that whole week. We were arguing and I was at home. He forbid me to go out, but my girlfriends told me he is my man and not my manager and told me to leave home and they will cover for me. We went out and I let lose all of my frustrations. We smoked at home and then we drank a whole lot at the party. The whole night is not clear but then some guys was with us and I can remember waking up with my head spinning and killing me and with no panty on and I could tell that someone had sex with me. My vagina was still with residue and I went and cleaned up in the bathroom. My friends were sleeping in the bed, and I was on the couch alone and there was only 2 other guys there but the night I am sure they was at 4 guys together but I can’t even remember getting to the house or where I was. My phone had a million missed calls for my bf. I was too ashamed to say something happened with me but apparently they had a blast in a 4some together. I had to go and let ***** tell him I am by her because I myself didn’t even know where I was. I asked them a week later if they heard the guys and they say they gone back overseas and she just has his IG name. Dominus because of the dates, I am sure the baby is not his and I am also SURE that he would walk away if he knew I was raped and pregnant. He would blame me for not obeying him and he always say that Barbados is too hot for him to wear a jacket. I love my unburned child and I love my man. It is killing me to keep this whole happy family together especially after he spoke about getting married last weekend. He won’t believe that I was raped, because he doesn’t trust me and always tells me my friends aint no good. Plus my friends swear for me saying I sleep over at them and that would show up the lies which he says he can’t stand. I am getting migraines daily thinking of my decision and everyday just passes and I can’t decide. I have had this feeling for 2 months and I can’t bring myself to say anything, especially how he treats me now. Will I be doomed to raise my baby alone if my conscious makes me tell him or should I keep quiet and enjoy the family life he wants. He won’t be the first man wearing a jacket nor he won’t be the last, so am I wrong for thinking so Dom?
Log in with Facebook to Comment